


Hitting the Showers

by Sarahsaveme



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Showers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 18:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13552872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarahsaveme/pseuds/Sarahsaveme
Summary: A collection of scenes revolving around the showers.  Rating will likely increase in later chapters.





	Hitting the Showers

**SSV Normandy SR-1, Post Feros**

Shepard reentered her beloved ship with her squadmates following closely behind her.  Feros was more than they were bargaining for, and she was anxious to get out of her armor.  The damn Thorian and all its weird creepers had spewed them in sickly green juices that clung to every surface of their bodies and reeked of rot and grime.  Once the door to the cargo hold had closed, she began stripping the pieces of soiled armor off as quickly as possible with Liara and Garrus doing the same.  

A gravelly voice broke through the clanging of armor hitting the ground.  “Did the poor princess get her armor dirty?  Maybe if she had brought a krogan along those things wouldn’t have gotten close enough to get her so damn dirty,” Wrex drawled from his corner of the hold.  Shepard rolled her eyes as she shoved her arm guards off.  Clearly, Wrex was still sore that she hadn’t chosen him for the ground team.

“Sorry, Wrex.  I needed people with a little more diplomacy, but I’ll be sure to bring you the next time I think there’s going to be a hell of a fight,” Shepard offered.

Wrex grumbled in annoyance.  “You don’t think I have finesse?”

With a yank, Shepard got her chest piece off and shoved it into Wrex’s grasp.  “Prove to me that the krogan even know what ‘finesse’ means by making sure none of us ever have to remember what this day smelled like ever again.”

“I’m not some grunt that does your work, Shepard.”

She leaned in, put a conciliatory hand on his shoulder, and lowered her voice.  “Come on, Wrex.  No one here respects the proper maintenance of armor like you and I do.  I’ll even let you beat me at arm wrestling later.”

A chuckle escaped the krogan in spite of himself.  “Alright Shepard, but just this one time.”

Shepard began making her way to the elevator with a smile just in time to catch the ride up with Garrus.  As they stepped into the lift, Garrus spoke just loud enough for her to hear.

“Doesn’t Wrex say ‘this is the last time’ every time?”

Shepard gave him a sly smirk.  “Come on, Garrus.  If he figures out he actually likes me, it’ll be game over for everyone.  I think it’s better to let him be grumpy if it motivates him to help out.”

The doors closed and the long process of making it up to the crew floor began.  Garrus let out a laugh as he shook his head.  “I’m always impressed with your people skills, Shepard.”

She threw her hands up and shrugged her shoulders.  “I just do what I can.  Wrex may be an asshole, but he’s _our_ asshole.”

They stood in companionable silence until the doors reopened and allowed them to step off.  As Shepard followed Garrus out, he turned around with a quizzical look on his face.  “Not heading to the CIC, Commander?”

She breezed past him and began making her way to the showers.  “Hell no.  I look, smell, and probably, if I had to think about it, taste, like shit.  I’m going to scrub until my skin turns red.  What about you?”

Garrus caught up to her and nodded.  “Yeah. I can’t imagine I’m much better.  Even snipers get dirty sometimes.”  The doors to the showers opened, and they strode in.  Shepard retrieved her toiletries from a cubby and headed for a stall against the back wall.

“Snipers have it easy.  You sit around, wait for someone to enter your sights… too boring for me.”

The shower beside her started as Garrus replied, “You don’t say? Is that why you charged into a group of creepers, or did you do that because you like watching them explode?” He asked with a sly smirk.

She cast him a shy smile over the barrier separating them.  “Ok, it can be fun to just beat things up with my blazing fists,” she said as she held her hands up, admiring the glowing view.

With that, they began the process of removing the thick layer of grime that covered their bodies.  She mused at how different it was on this vessel, the way people treated the showers like any other gathering place.  Nothing awkward about a crew removing the day’s gunk from themselves in almost-full view of another.  It was a nice change from the all-human ships where everyone acted like they were seeing a naked person for the first time when someone entered the showers.  

Shepard was systematically going down the line of the little bottles she had lined up in front of her when she noticed Garrus staring intently at her numerous cleansing products.  She quirked an eyebrow in his direction, and he startled at being caught.  “Sorry, Commander.  Humans have such… an array of things to clean yourselves with.  It’s a bit strange, to a turian at least.”

Shepard lifted her arms up to rinse the suds from her now-clean pits.  “Garrus, we aren’t on the field.  Shepard is fine. Anyway, I think it stems from our bodies having so many… textures? Is that the right word? I mean we have hair that needs to be cleaned and conditioned, and do NOT let anyone try to convince you those processes can be done at the same time, but that’s a topic for another day.”

He chuckled as he skidded a brush across his chest.  “I’ll be sure to ask some other time, Shepard.  You were saying you have several textures?”

“Textures!  Yes.  Umm, the skin on our faces is different than the skin on the rest of our bodies, so there’s different products for that.  There’s a type of wash specifically for, well..” She took a deep breath and let out a laugh.  “Sorry.  I didn’t plan on talking to anyone today about the type of wash I use on my genitals,” she said as she waved her hands in the air.

It was Garrus’s turn to laugh.  “I didn’t mean to pry, but this has taken a turn.  Turians really only use brushes and one type of wash to clean ourselves, even though we have places without plating.  We just use softer brushes for those parts”

“No shit?  That’s clever.  I think the difference here is humans like to come up with new ways to spend our money.  If someone told me I needed something just to wash my feet, I’d probably buy it, but I have really smelly feet so maybe someone should get on that.”

Garrus’s mouth dropped open, and he pointed an accusatory finger at her.  “You!  It’s you!  Every time we come back from missions, there’s always this _awful_ smell, and I just thought it was the group’s stench from a job-well-done.  Shepard, I think your feet may be trying to rot off from the rest of you.  Chakwas should check you out.”

She narrowed her eyes and sent a spray of water over the barrier in defiance.  “They are not rotting off of me!  It’s genetic.  My grandpa, mom, and me all have smelly feet.  I can’t help it!”

Laughing boisterously at her outburst, Garrus clutched the barrier for support.  “Shepard, this is a real, tactical problem.  How can we get the jump on Saren if he can smell us coming?”

“Keep talking, Vakarian, and I’ll blast you out the airlock,” she retorted as she resumed the last bit of her cleaning.  He shut off the water and gathered his few things before she could make any more threats.

He paused at the door before leaving.  “Shepard?” She shut the water off and gave him her full attention.  “Thank you for taking me on the team today.  You saying we needed people with diplomatic skills, well, I appreciate the opportunity to use the ideas we’ve been talking about.  Not exercising our own version of justice, doing the right thing… a lot of colonists could’ve died today, but your order to only shoot the creepers?  It was bold, but it was the right decision.  So I guess what I’m really saying, is thanks.”  He said as his hand came up to rub the back of his neck self-consciously.

Shepard smiled in earnest and gave a nod.  “Anytime, Garrus.  Having you on the ground team is always an honor.”

Returning her smile, he threw her a towel.  “You may need this, Shepard.  Some of the crew finds you a bit… distracting.” And with that he was gone, leaving her with only her thoughts and blushing cheeks.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments/kudos mean the world to me, and I love feedback!


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